


Till the End of Time

by uknguyen18



Category: Original Work
Genre: Coldplay, F/M, Guitar, Longing, Love, Music, We The Kings, fix you, sad song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:52:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uknguyen18/pseuds/uknguyen18
Summary: Two hopeless romantics fall in love, but the strain between them was too much to bear.





	Till the End of Time

"It's been a long time since we've spoken, just you and I," I said. "I'm sorry. I've been so busy."

            She didn't reply. It was a lame excuse.

            The memory of that night flashed through my mind as I fingered the strings on my guitar. The strings were like a rusty blade that continually stabbed me. It allowed salt to flow in freely, causing me more pain than the initial injury.

            But no physical injury could amount to the pain I felt in my chest.

            "Why'd you have to leave?" I asked her. Tears welled up in my eyes. "You could've came to me; I could've helped you."

            Anyone who was watching would just see a boy talking to a tombstone. Anyone who was watching and  _knew us_ would see a boy talking to his departed lover's grave. Any of my friends who were watching would see me trying to hold onto a fairy tale that didn't end with a 'happily ever after'.

            I began to play my favorite song. When she was still here, it was all I would sing to her. She knew that I meant every word of it, even if they weren't my own words. She told me that she related to it in the worst way, but wouldn't explain why.

            I understood now.

 _"When you try your best, but you don't succeed,_ " I began singing, my voice cracking. Tears pleaded to begin their journey down my face.

            I had tried my best to love her, but my best wasn't good enough. I left her when she was weak and inevitably failed her. I would never be able to forgive myself for that.

            " _When you get what you want, but not what you need."  
_             I had gotten the football scholarship in England that I'd been yearning for since I could play, but I didn't have my sunshine. Isn't that what everyone needs? A sunshine to bring light to the darkest of days; someone that makes you feel lighter by just smiling? Doesn't everyone need someone to love them and to make them feel important?

 _"When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep."  
_             Losing her drained the ability to do anything from my body. Flashbacks of rushing to the hospital has kept me up all night for the past month. The funeral haunted me every time I closed my eyes. Losing her wasn't something I could easily get over. I couldn't  _ever_  get over it.

 _"Stuck in reverse."  
_             The force holding back my tears finally broke. I was back at square one. I couldn't help the girl of my dreams, and now I could feel myself slipping into an abyss of despair.

 _"And the tears come streaming down your face,_ " I sang, cracking a small smile as some of my tears dripped off of my jaw.

 _"When you lose something you can't replace."  
_             The grave marker taunted me as soon as I sang that line. Tess would always be someone that I couldn't replace. There was only one of her, and I lost her. It was all my fault.

 _"When you love someone, but it goes to waste."  
_             That line was for Tess. She loved me, but it went to waste. I left her when she needed me the most. Why did I ever leave? Why was I too late? She loved me with everything she had, but I was too late.

 _"Could it be worse?"  
_             In my mind, it couldn't be worse. I'd planned my future with Tess. All my dreams were shattered when the lid of the casket shut. It couldn't be worse for me.

 _"Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones, and I will try to **fix you**."  
_             I remembered the light in her eyes that made me feel at home as soon as they met mine. I'll never know if she found her home. I'll never know because I couldn't fix her. Try as I might, I didn't try hard enough to achieve.

            I finished the rest of the song, reflecting back on my relationship with Tess. My contemplation only led to regret as I realized that I was in the position to save her, but I didn’t. That was my biggest regret.

            My nose was stuffed up and my vision was starting to blur. I rested my head against the tree behind me.

            It was just like Tess to request to be buried under a tree. Her love for nature was incomparable. She loved adventuring to parks just to delve herself into the woodland world.

            After moments of listening to the peaceful sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds, I began to sing another song. It was her favorite song.

 _"Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole,"_  I sang the chorus softly. Oh, did I know this feeling all too well.

 _"Without you, I've got no hand to hold."  
_             Memories of Tess timidly slipping her small, calloused hands into mine caused more tears to drench my cheeks. Her anxiety was the downfall of her social life, and I could only try my best to save her from it. But look where trying my best got me.

 _"Without you, I feel torn, like a sail in a storm."  
_             The past month without Tess has been a whirlwind that's been ripping me into shreds. Nothing seemed real; nothing felt real.

 _"Without you, I'm just a sad song."  
            That's all I've been able to hear lately_ , I thought.

            I stopped playing. It just wasn't right to play the song without her to finish singing it. I understood why Tess was so obsessed with this song now. It described what she felt when I had to leave her because of football. It described what she felt when I wasn't there to help her.

 _"With you, I fall,"_  a clear voice rang through the autumn air.

            I turned to my left to see an Asian girl dressed in a plain, grey t-shirt with a navy cardigan to complement it. Black leggings adorned her legs and were succeeded by navy Vans. Unlike most girls, she wore no makeup, something Tess did quite often. She had dark brown hair, streaked with bits of natural auburn, twisted into an elaborate plait. The plait was somewhat frizzy, as if she had woken up and didn't bother to fix it.

            She beckoned for me to continue playing. I complied.

 _"It's like I'm leaving all my past in silhouettes up on the wall,"_ she sang, her voice ringing.  _"With you, I'm a beautiful mess. It's like we're standing hand-in-hand with all our fears up on the edge."  
_             It was like Tess had sent her to me, to remind me how much she loved me. No matter how much I messed up, she didn't blame me. Tess loved me too much, and that was her fatal flaw.

            The girl and I finished the song together, and, by the end of it, she was sat next to me. She didn't say anything as the last note rung out on my guitar. Her eyes were foggy, and she was in a daze.

            "He loved it when I sang for him," the girl said. "He could listen to me sing that song over and over for weeks, and he would never get bored.”           

            My eyebrows knotted in confusion. _Who are you talking about?_ I thought.

            The girl turned to me and shared a small smile. "Have you seen the garden they have here?" she asked, ignoring my question. "It's quite beautiful."

            I nodded, having been to the said garden myself. It was a place Tess would've enjoyed, although she had no reason to be in a cemetery.

            "Deep within there, he's buried," the girl whispered, turning back to look out at the other tombstones. "He loved plants and nature. He wanted us to be surround by something beautiful and happy, so we wouldn’t be sad that we lost him. My grandfather always took care of his family, and I’m sad that I can never repay him."

            That sounded like something Tess would've wanted, but she wouldn't request so. She was too concerned for her parent's financial problems to have them plant an entire garden around her tomb. Tess wouldn't have believed she was worth the trouble, but she was worth the world and more.

            "He sounds wonderful," I replied, my voice still scratchy. "His ideas are very familiar."

            The girl nodded. "Of course, the brightest flames burn the fastest," she said with the same soft tone from before. "It's just so unfortunate that tragedies strike the best of us."

            I knew how she felt. I could relate to this strange girl that I just met more than I could with anyone else I've known for years.

            "Oh, how I know that all too well," I said, mimicking her soft tone.

;

_Her laptop emitted a beautiful glow on her peaceful face. How I got so lucky as to have such a wonderful person in my arms will always remain a mystery to me. Right now, I couldn't care less about the details and wanted to enjoy this moment._

_Our legs were intertwined, the covers providing enough insulation for us to be content with the warmth of each other. We had been watching reruns of old '90s TV shows on her laptop when she fell asleep, clinging to me as if I was her lifeline. Her small body fit perfectly against mine._

_I shut off the laptop, making sure to move carefully. Slowly, I shifted to place the device onto her bedroom floor. We could deal with that in the morning._

_Unfortunately, my movements had been just enough to wake up my sunshine._

_She yawned and gradually opened her eyes. A sleepy smile laced on her face, she gazed at me adoringly._  
            "I'm sorry," I said in a quiet voice. "Just go back to sleep."  
            "I can't go to sleep when you're probably going to stay up for a while more," she said softly. "Maybe talking will help make you tired."  
            I rolled my eyes. "Tess, you know better than anyone that insomnia sucks," I reminded her.  
            "It's your fault for forgetting your medicine."  
            "Always the one to sass, aren't you?"  
            She stuck her tongue out at me, seeming a little more awake than before. Although her appearance was neglected at the moment, Tess was still the most beautiful woman I'd seen in my life.  
            A comfortable silence settled in the air. For a while, the only sound that broke it was the creaking of the house and Tess yawning.

 _"How much do you love me?" she asked spontaneously. "I know you do, and I'm not questioning it, but how much?"_  
            I pulled her closer, as if that was even possible. I could feel her heart beat due to our proximity. I never wanted this moment to end.  
            "From here," I told her, jabbing my finger to where my heart was.

 _She yawned again. "What?" she asked._  
            I said nothing. Soon enough, she was asleep again.  
            My beautiful sunshine.  
;  
It was years after seeing her cheeks soaked with tears as she whispered her final goodbye to me. It was years after she so quietly took her life. It was years after knowing that the doctors couldn't do anything to save her. It was years after burying my only love, my sunshine.

            "You'll find someone again," I've heard many people tell me. "You'll get over her."

            Tess wasn't someone you could get over,  _ever._  That's how I found myself here, year after year, time after time.

            As I hobbled along the overgrown path to the wizened, old tree for the last time, I realized I would be seeing her very soon. The tree had grown old with me, but only one of us lived on.

            I stood under the tree for the last time and smiled at my sunshine's grave marker. The tree's leaves rustled in the wind that carried words that only Tess would care to hear.

            "To here and till the end of time."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was very young, and then rewrote it. Now, I sometimes cry when I read it so idk...


End file.
